i know it was your birthdays and i love you and all...but i'm going to have to say the past 2 days of my life were pretty tough.
reflecting upon myself, i started to feel like some sort of loser. I know i'm not. and i know i really shouldn't hate my life right now. But sometimes, i cant help but to. I realized that a lot of people my age,even younger, are living the life I want to live. I know I have to embrace what I have and that true happiness is not comparing yourself to others but what I see is happening is just...well, disappointing...frowns.
I'm disappointed no one called me back from the job interview. I'm disappointed in myself for being so dependent. I'm disappointed in myself for making my love life a complex vortex of relationshit. I'm disappointed in myself for being lazy. ALL these things can be fixed and I know that...just tonight did i feel a little bit of rejuvenation, but I feel like sometimes, you just need to bask. You just need to accept things and take them and spit them into a spittoon. My spittoon is this blog.
I think too much. I have so much to be sorry for. I have so many expectations. I NEED TO BE FIXED.
It's a difficult thing when you realize your life is not going the way you want it. And I've had to endure and embrace this fact for the past 2 days. Usually, I would use distractions to veer away from that awful truth. but the past 2 days forced me to face it. And it definitely pwned me. I will fix it, though. and I will get through things, without insecurity. I can do it. I need to set things right...it's definitely the "boss" level of the game, however :/
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